Was I the only one who thought it was funny?

What freakin' legends...



I think I may be the only one, or at least in the minority, who thought what these two tried to do this past week was hillarious. I genuinely want them to be around in some other form if only for the entertainment factor.

In most cases I will say that a football club going into administration is a terrible thing, if only for the fans that see their clubs financial deals be the demise rather than what occurs on the field. In this case however there was a different feeling of 'ha ha, they'll get relegated and have to play Scunthorpe and Barnsley in league games!".

This mainly comes due to the constant voicing of opinions of Liverpool fans over the past few years claiming they were the best and would win the league. Only to constantly dissapoint and be a laughing stock of the 'Big 4'. Yet even when that happened they carried on. So when this appeared as a distinct possibility, the administration and 9 point deduction seemed only to be something that could bring those fans down a peg or two.

The word that Hicks/Gillett may still sue Liverpool for $1.6 brings a little comfort that the hillarity will continue at least for a short while. Hicks & Gillett, not everyone hates you... I even like you a little bit, you seem to have a good sense of humour.

Maybe this new lot of Americans will finish the job off...

Anyway, fuck off now.

Oxfam... What a Greedy Bunch of Bastards!

Yeah I genuinely forgot about this, although I'm sure hardly anyone reads it but if you do, drop us a comment and I'll ignore you. Thanks.

Today I decided to be less hateful, but it did not pan out so here it goes...

Oxfam. We can all agree they do a lot of good in the world, they are a charity and I wish no harm to their workes, their plight or their programs that help a lot of needy people around the world. The only thing I want to bring up is a little tweet of theirs the other day that pissed me off... royally pissed me off.



The tweet read... (from Oxfam America's Twitter Page on the 8th october 2010)
"Disappointed with the @WhiteHouse pledge of only $4 billion over the next 3 years to the Global Fund to fight AIDS. http://bit.ly/9b1Qk0"


Now I have no doubt that the global fund to fight aids could do with billions and trillions, but lets be clear on this... $4 Billion. We're currently coming out of a worldwide financial meltdown, so the fact they have 4 billion given to them as the US National Debt clock rolls over at a frankly comedy (not that it's funny, it just simply seems unreal) rate, and they feel 'disappointed' by that leaves me staggered.

Oxfam America and Oxfam as a whole should say the same thank you... whether someone gives them $1 or $4 Billion. Needless to say I removed all followings of Oxfam accounts (having done some fundraising for them in the past) on Twitter and I shall not be donating to them ever again in any fashion. If they do not see $1.3 Billion a year for 3 years as good enough, then my odd 50p, well they may as well spit on me. I'm clearly a selfish wanker in their eyes.

I was shocked and a quick ask around my office left the same confusion to the attitude of Oxfam.


So... Oxfam... fuck you, you greedy bunch of bastards.

Next time you see an Oxfam worker asking for donations, better get the cheque book out, and don't think of donating less than $1.3 Billion for the year.

Rant over for now, I'll be sending this to Oxfam...

Well aren't you a waste of oxygen...

So again it's been awhile since I last posted something on here. But hell, I'm busy and have a purpose in life... You should try it... Asshole.

The title of this blog could seem a little vague and generalised on the whole and i accept that. However that is where the actually content comes in useful and if you're still reading (congratulations you can read) then you're about to get some explanation.

Sainsbury's is a well known British supermarket and we've all been tone of those. It will be nothing new to anyone to read here that when inside people seem to devolve into a state of idiocy that they can only manage when inside the four walls of a supermarket. I did somewhat think that the supermarket was the best place to view the human race using their brain the least.

However... (you love however) outside is the car park. It's not the cars moving that cause me the complex. There's a crossing, a zebra one if you're one for details. You would think people would cross there, it being easy and cars being legally obliged to stop. But no... Like retarded zombies people dawdle across any other part of the road, looking around in the sky for some sort of message that reminds them to breathe.

Then the kicker, they glance through your windscreen with a look of "how dare you drive on the road". If I was in the position where i didn't fear life imprisonment i would encourage running them over, if only to teach them a lesson. Oh and of course there would be a dent in the car... That would be inconvenient.



Zebra crossings... Use them or prepare to except a lesson. I'll post again when I can be bothered. Feckin muppets.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad (yes this is me showing off... What?)

Greenday: It's the face and the voice I hate... and I mean hate

Lets get straight to the point...
What absolute idiots these 3 are. And my god his voice is fucking annoying.

The reason this has come up is purely because I was listening to a song today and thought to myself within the first 30 seconds "this is a bit Greenday-ish" but for some strange reason, as I knew it wasn't the retarded billy idol with black hair yelling strange and not very well thought through attempts at political messages, I let it go.

I have never liked these tossers, not since I was 13 and went all angry at the world for 30 minutes in a very stereo-typical 13 year old way. Now it's based on pure knowledge of the fact I clearly sit on a higher plateau of thought to 99.9% of the people around me (prove that I don't). Back to the point, Greenday sat on a level of hate higher than most because I thought they were stupid and shit musicians, and I realise that may be true, but it's not the reason I hate them.

The reason is this...

He sings like a depressed chipmunk whose yet to have his morning coffee and he has a face seemingly suspended in a constant state of surprise and is surrounded by two people who feel the constant need to have their head at an angle ready for their next 'myspace profile picture'. Overall as human beings, I'm not 100% sure they should live on in the world of 'music', and that hasn't changed, but my reasons have and I feel they are now more justified than ever.

I guess thats all I have to say, life has been busy starting a new job, so... fuck all of you layabouts! Get a job!

Back soon, if you miss me, I don't miss you.

5 Faces to Vanish From Television...

Let's get straight into this one shall we, in no particular order...

1.James Corden

I'm not 100% sure what it is about him that I hate so much... oh hang on yes I do. The tit just laughs, he is a laughing tit, but it's not a good tit, it's an ugly tit. The kind of tit that honestly makes you try to count how many pints you've had to end up staring at this tit for as long as you have. So overall, he's an ugly odd laughing tit who overall isn't that funny.


2. The Glee Cast

I know technically this is more than one face, but whenever I see/hear these ridiculous wankers they tend to merge into a mush more annoying than watching an hour of James Corden (and let's be honest I have already made it clear I'm not a fan of that prick). The worst one of the lot is (and I had to research this which makes me hate myself) Chris Colfer who (yes, I've had to look at the iMDB page for Glee twice now) Kurt Hummel. His face genuinely makes me consider suicide and homicide all at the same time. See what you're doing Glee... you're going to make me kill people!

3. Bruce Forsyth

One simple phrase sums all this up, and just for dramatic effect I'm going to put it in big bold red writing for you.
DIRTY OLD MAN
The picture (left... no the other left you dipshit) sums it all up. He's just a weird should have retired 10 (thousand) years ago at least perverted big chinned odd moustache displaying disgusting old man. Nice to see you to see you... Fuck off already!

4. David Dickinson

This is where it becomes clear I've been a student... and been watching too much daytime television but never less the sheer orangeness of this man's skin made me question if I had the contrast, brightness and colour settings on my TV up way way way way way way way to high. For that confusion, I wish him to banish, vanish and probably be involved in some sort of accident. And for the record, it's only cheap as chips because it's shit!

And last but not least... (well the least talented)

5. The Presenters of T4

All of them are snivelling brainless talentless annoying idiots that leave me genuinely question is there anyone vetting anybody asking for a job at Channel 4 anymore? It seems you can be a complete prick who laughs at your own jokes while fumbling and bumbling across the same line you've been saying on the program for 8 months (which is usually "here's Friends") and then a bunch of people ass lick you, bum you, and plaster your face on every Channel 4 based advert which then leads to more money, and more stupid 'indy kids' thinking your some sort of golden glowing god. Fuck me, Channel 4 used to be... oh no it's always been pretty fucking poor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, that's me done... and I won't have to see any more daytime television as of Monday. I went and got a job, which means I'll have money to go out and spend avoiding the weekend idiots and the evening fucktards. Win on my part? Yes me thinks.

Go away now.

You've got me confused with someone who cares...

So I have neglected this blog over the past few weeks, I admit. But as the title suggests... I've got over it and so should you. Now you have, lets continue.






So job hunting has actually gone fairly well, it's been interesting, and I've secured a few things. So we're off to a good start... sadly means I can't complain about that.

General bitching about the general world that surrounds me shall commence then.

I'm going to focus on Wimbledon. Not the football team, or the place. But the tennis. For me, every 4 years, it just gets in the way of a real sport being played that the whole world and millions of people in it gets full involved in. The FIFA World Cup. Now even with England's fortunes being somewhat terrible so far (in the sense that fortunes means effort and performances that deserve the shirt), I still love the competition as the millions (and millions) of people around the world do so I think it's ridiculous that the BBC chose to put it on TV.

My description of people who choose to watch the stupid tennis tournament rather than the FIFA World Cup at this time of year includes the phrase "...they put their car keys in bowls most Friday evenings...". I hope you understand what that means, if not ask your Mum and Dad.

At Wimbledon you don't get a fuck off big plastic horn to blow in someones ear for 2 hours. You don't get to shout 'F**k off ref, you prick!' at any point. They ask you to leave if you do that... well that's just no fun is it?

At the end of the day I believe the BBC and the English Lawn Tennis Geezers have got it majorly wrong. Every 4 years they should have a year off, or take it on tour, go play it in Iraq, give those tennis players something to worry about and make them earn their money. I'd actually watch highlights at that point, I promise you.

In fact take it from me, if you comment on this giving me your support, and spread the word of Warzone Tennis, we'll get it going. I for one would like to see Roger Federer, Nadal and Murray avoid mortar fire while attempting a dainty drop shot. Wouldn't you?

If you disagree with me... fuck off.

Oh and I'm done, so... you all can go away now to be honest.

Until next time, try not to die.

I got distracted... so shoot me.

Yeah so I realise it's been a long while since I last had a bash at writing one of these buy you have to take into consideration I don't really give a crap... but just so you know these updates could be coming a little more often now, since I'm no longer a student, I'm just an unemployed bum. Brilliant.

I figured I'd write about how life keeps getting in the way of stuff like this, and frankly how god damn annoying that can be. So here it goes...

So why is it that whenever you feel like you're going to do something you enjoy, or at least something that denies monotony a chance to invade your life-space for at least a brief few moments, minutes and if you're lucky an hour or so, something comes along called 'life' and gets in the freakin' way. Well for me recently that was completeing University and all the 'goodbyes' that came with it.

Goodbye's came in various guises, be it drinking, sitting in fields due to the ridiculous heatwave that blasted the UK for a whole 4 or so days... but overall they were just things nobody really wanted to do that got in the way of doing things you wanted to do.

I also did some exam thing, not that it even felt important which should bother me, but shock horror it doesn't.

Anyway so thats all done... personal bitching over... generalised bitching commences.

So yeah life... fuck you really. Existing on your shoulder and in the back of your mind quite contently and then suddenly you decide you want all the attention... well that's just damn rude, wait till I want to give you attention... got it?

Yeah I wish it was that easy, but lets be honest there's something called 'sods law' which likes to turn up and rear it's oh so ugly head just at the moment you believe you may just have a smooth ride for a bit... and brings along a shit load size dose of life with all it's trials and tribulations. It makes me hate those pro-life people, even though they're on about something completely different, it just makes it sound like they like these hassles... wankers. Don't support it!


Anyway, I realise this was naf, but it helped me bitch some shit out, and then it's a way for me to get started with this again...

I'm currently job hunting, so expect a theme to emerge... I already hate the being nice when I really don't want to to people who also are being nice when they don't really want to. Wouldn't be great if conversations were the following...

**PHONE RINGS**

Me: Yes?
Recruiter/Employer: Want this job thing I've got going?
Me: Maybe. Send me an e-mail about it.
Recruiter/Employer: Ok.

**HANGS UP**
Well... I can dream.

Enjoy the rest of the internet now, I hear it's full of tits.

It's Been Awhile...

So it's been awhile since I last updated this. I decided that it was best to actually finish this degree thing... or something like that.

With that done (or almost) I figured I'd get back to wasting your time and mine with a solid wedge of whining. It's what I do best.

Now the topic on everyone's mind at the moment is... the impending general election on May 6th. So with that in mind I figured I would write a little piece on... anything but the election. It's important to me... but I'm even slightly bored of it being everywhere.

So... let's look at spending large chunks of a student loan... and.more to the point my last ever one. So rent paid, some bills taken care of... you look at your bank and you're fairly surprised at the number that remains.

1st... EBAY!

Now this is a necessity... where else can you browse such a diverse range of absolute bullshit. You type in random topics and end up looking at anything but what you intended to look at first. The bargain hunter... also known as the pieces of tat hunter... comes out in all of us. Wonderful... 2nd hand terrible video games, NFL pendants, mini helmets and watches glitter away like pieces of shit encrusted with gems right out of the cheap
end of Argos' jewellery cabinets. You bid, buy it now and pay extra to get your crap quicker. What's wrong with us... and if you don't do this... what's wrong with you? You're missing out on one of life's most ridiculous pleasures!

Now there's more to do after eBay. Hit the hmv sales, game sales, gamestation sales, gig tickets... boom. Bye student loan! Add that to ridiculous amounts of drink, takeaways and excesses of every other corner of student life.

Love it... then regret it... then sleep. Then do it again.

Piss off till next time.

The Worst Group At Uni... And We've All Been One.

So as you may or may not know i'm currently wrapping up the end of a degree... 3 years of my life devoted to something I've completely changed my mind about during the process of 'studying'. What a wonderful feeling that is...

In one respect it is, it means I'm free of student life which ultimately means surrounding yourself with selfish, annoying and sometimes just fucking odd people. Beyond funny odd, slightly scary but mostly furiously odd. It makes it almost impossible for them to integrate even when you try your upmost to help them out. Though they are not the worst kind i've encountered. Neither was it the drug dealing/taking wankers who inhabited the same hallway as me in my first year of 'study'. The worst are those who believe they know how to do it when they arrive... and just believe you should do whatever they say, bend over for them. We've all been one of those people in our 3 years of university... but we don't realise it till near the end of it all.

Their name... FIRST YEARS!

Living with them is a daily trial of patience and understanding... and thats my patience and understanding. The process of sleep and rest at normal sociable hours is a concept they lose once they walk through the front door of their first student hole... sorry... house. With them comes an attitude of knowing how to live life, and everyone should bend over backwards to accomadate them, even if that means you possibly being too tired to adequately be aware of anything going on during the next early morning very important third year session. That's their right apparently.

God forbid you challenge them on such issues, they just tell you to lighten up... and telling them about 3 years of work, most of which you feel you must be completing right now in the final home straight, and the mountain of debt you have inherited from it only puts them in a state of spitefullness. More willing to make up a childish tune or shout louder. Overall I dislike sharing space with them intensely... and they are beings I will gladly never deal with again.

Sorry to anyone who dealt with me when I was a first year (except for the pre-mentioned drug dealing twats... I hope you ruin your life).

Ok rant over... you can piss off now.

Trains...The Home Of The Travelling Hobo

Yesterday was all set to be a good day...at least in my head. What deluded belief that was. I should have remembered a train journey would at least coincide with 1 encounter with the infamous alcohol stink of the travelling hobo that inhabits the rail network around Britain. In experience...further north, stronger the smell...so a visit to Stockport from Preston...it was going to pretty bad.

Thankfully a hangover that was making the outward journey a bad one anyway wasn't complimented with the travelling hobo stench, that was saved for the return...oh the joy of joys.

Sitting on the train, the first 3 or 4 minutes were good, stench free...I believed I may have achieved what only a few may have achieved before...hobo-less journey. Pull into the first station, and here he comes.With a train ticket (somehow) and smelling like a bad pint of cheap whiskey. Behind me he sat twisting, turning, kicking, coughing and spluttering, muttering mumbles of utter annoyance to the fact he was alive I'm assuming. Only stopping to have another swig.

What I don't get about these people, is how they ever got onto the train in the first place? How didn't he end up down by the tracks kissing the live rail with the way he stumbled and staggered up the aisle. Without the freedom to move to another seat in this busy train, I was lumbered with the gentleman for another hour at least.

Mix that with some of the rudest people I've ever had the pleasure of sharing a train with (aka the british public) and once again I was left surrounded with those things that make life extremely unbearable...PEOPLE.

Football was shit as well...

Pointless.

You can go now.

Another day, another blog.

So...what this time? As I'm writing this bit of the post I actually have no idea. On limited sleep I find myself rather awake at the moment. So I've decided to talk shit and share it with the world...lucky you!

I've had a think and I've decided what to post...so here it goes...

Twitter vs Facebook

This debate erupted (by debate I mean a few people gave an opinion and by erupted I mean murmured for 2 minutes) in one of my university lectures the other day. Now from my point of view just a year ago on a personal level...Twitter was pointless. Nothing more than limited squirts of absolute drivel. Now however I love it. Not because it's improved, not because I've taken on some smart ass self interested view of being different to anyone else...but because of the very reason a year ago made it pointless.

Simply...

Facebook now annoys the hell out.of me, especially with their latest gift of an 'improved' front end. Now I have to see all the shit people (and you know my opinion on people) use to convince themselves that using my oxygen is ok.

Farmville is probably the greatest offender. But its not alone and I refuse to name anymore. At the end of the day people (Meh) click away and believe through their own ridiculousness that they have a real farm they need help with. A mob deal they need back up for. The list is endless.

Twitter...I accept your limited squirts of bullshit with open arms, may you stay as you are.

Done. You can go now, have an acceptable day.

People...Life Would Be Simpler Without Them...So Piss Off

Just look at them, they're right muppet looking. This is just a small selection of what the world calls 'people'. I've nothing against any race, religion, gender...I dislike hate you all just as much. Charlie Brooker got it right...

'I don't get people. What's their appeal, precisely? They waddle around with their haircuts on, cluttering the pavement like gormless, farting skittles. They're awful.'

Yup.

Day to day tasks would be so much easier if it wasn't having to check with people to see if I was 'ok do to things' or whether they had 'kept their side of the bargain'. If people were just to dissapear...fuck off if you will...then I would never be at the point where my life and everything involved in it, pretty much meant I had to rely on other people, no matter how loosely or indirectly.

Take today for instance, I'm waiting on a reply from a company to let me pay them some money. I first rang their helpline, they told me to send an email as they didn't know. YOU'RE A FUCKING HELPLINE! HELP PEOPLE! If it wasn't for 'people' existing...I could have just not had someone to pay in the first place, therefore no wankers on a helpline to ring, and no emails needing to be responded to.

Although...I do realise without 'people' this blog would be pointless, but maybe without 'people' I wouldn't be such a deranged pessimist in the first place.

Sunday Night Television is Shit

Well...I figured I'd get started soon after setting this thing up, but I didn't think it'd be as soon as this...

Problem is Sunday night Television is shit!

I got in tonight and thought I'd sit down with some tv, like I do most Sundays...I was heavily dissapointed. Repeats of Top Gear (thanks to my tv licence, cheers BBC), that moron Harry Hill or Country File were on offer...great.

Or if I'm feeling especially like I want to stab myself in the eyes repeatedly with shit covered knitting needles then I have Dancing on Ice. Below Z list celebrities not falling over...how's that entertainment?

It's time for TV to buck it's ideas up for Sunday's! It's good for 80 year olds (country file, and period dramas) or people with severe brain damage (Harry Hill and repeats).

Consider yourself told!

So already another bloggage...

So i've played around with it a bit, it doesn't look so shit now. Then again it's not seemingly hard to make anything look better than 99% of the internet... which I will never get. I don't know why this needed a whole new post... but it's given me a sense of purpose for about 40 seconds so I guess all in all... it was worthwhile... ish.

A Way To Begin Wasting Time

Well... I've always sort of wanted to do this so I figured it was time to give it a shot. I really should be finishing up work for the 3rd year of a degree course at university but as we all know it's far more interesting to find ways to procrastinate for as long as possible. Rooms are tidy, clothes clean, freezers defrosted, television's dusted, desktops organised, you're up to to date on all your email correspondence. And then... you create a blog.

I would give you an idea of what I plan to write here but if I'm totally honest...I don't have a clue. The title explains it the best I can. I offer this as a gift to the world... although I know you don't want it... tough... I'm giving it to you anyway!